Mameshiba (Instrumental) (Hidden Track) - Yoko Kanno
We definitely will be missing these discussions and fooling around when we graduate from college.
Crazy friends—
…Tsk tsk tsk.
I am not interested with food now.
My eyes are tired, but my mind isn’t. I cannot sleep.
This whole ordeal is burning me out.
I cannot make music, I cannot make art.
I could only write, if, to write, my heart would be relieved.
I am disinterested with the things I used to love.
There is this great pressure to be what is expected of me.
Even laughing has become a thing of the past. Where have all my chuckles gone?
—that short moment of spiritual exhalation that seemed so abundant then.
And now, during the wee hours of the morning, when all the world is quiet and harmless and vulnerable, I try to accept a defeat. I could turn it around, but what of it when it is achieved?
Every chance, every voice, every taunting reminder of a decent life favors a different direction. But I cannot simply abandon my values, ideals, and responsibilities.
Sigh.
…
I feel like some deranged ready-to-spawn-and-die-afterwards salmon swimming upstream on a wonderful summer day. Why hello, hungry bears.
It angers me that I should ever be helpless.
But there it all is, the beauty and horror of it,
The indelible truth of it,
The existence that makes me doubt my own.
But in the end, we are what we have endured.
We are what and who we have chosen.
And we choose where to go.
The more pieces I pick up,
The more I realize—
I am an alien to my own boat.
It feels good to be young, doesn’t it? Every feeling—fresh. Everything is new. Life is like a big adventure, where there is a promise of a treasure chest as prize.
But sometimes, there aren’t prizes at the end of a voyage. Just scars.
…And eventually, pain just isn’t as painful anymore.
Pretty much sums my mind now up.
Mameshiba (Instrumental) (Hidden Track) - Yoko Kanno
That’s a pretty interesting bathroom | via:
Another one to add to my bathroom ideas.
There’s a real secure feeling you get with the tree separating you from the window. And beyond the tree, the rest of the busy world goes about its business.
I wonder why there are two sinks, and where is the toilet? And what if you’re the brief-bather type who’d go for just a shower on working days?
This type of bathroom would be solely for relaxation.
(via Pieter Musterd)
Wow, just my idea of a paradise.
There it was, my reaction last night was a bit exaggerated. Dad says these things are really part of life, and that maybe it’s just stress that’s causing me all this.
“It’s all in the mind,” he says.
I guess I just need rest.
…
One could only know courage and hope when there is fear first.
And when all the magic and mystery gone, and logic and truth suffice—
What of you and your perfect little world?
“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.” — Ayn Rand (via kari-shma)
And this is why, I do not like to love. For every time I do, someone always ends up getting hurt. It’s complicated. My ways, at least.
Beyond words.
wha? (via *Cinnamon)
Kittyyyyy!
I miss Puti. We used to have a white cat who always dirtied himself outside. He’d go back home all tired and gray (literally, covered in grime and who knows what). After a bath, he’d be so sleepy and would be great for cuddling (hmm, bagong ligo!).
I can’t cuddle our old cat named Mio for:
1. He doesn’t take a bath.
2. Therefore he smells like shit + cat sweat + old fur.
3. He just isn’t into cuddling.
Anyway… I guess I’d have more luck looking for lost kitties, eh? (We hear one tirelessly calling out to its mother every other week?)
Sigh.
So now, what is to be kept and what is to be taken out?
If only we had brain organizers for thoughts that have a habit of mutating into something else… thoughts that display themselves excessively or go into hiding when they are needed… for thoughts with a knack of contradicting themselves… and for thoughts that limit or exhaust you.
Ugh.
IMG_7521.JPG (via Ronnie Bruce)
One of my favorite pictures. ever.
Wouldn’t it be nice to look at this kind of view (better without the wires) during the wee hours of the morning?